I really have to say that I am sorry to all the people that I have been affecting with my negative attitude lately. Dealing with some of my life issues has been taxing my patience and I end up venting on people that usually do not deserve it. So for anyone that I have done this to, I am sorry. One of the main things that I have been dealing with is the proceeding with the court to try to get my oldest son out here to california. This is hard, hard, hard....I have a deep love for my children. Although sometimes I realize that it may be misplaced. I try to listen and to compromise. One of his points for not coming out here is that he would like to be adopted. I can accept that since he lives where he does most of the time that I could do the name change thing. But I do not want to lose the ability to see him or be a part of his life. This I feel would be in severe jeopardy due to the change in rights. I just want to play with him...to spend some time with him. Is it ever too late??? That is my dilemna ......I just need to keep on praying and doing the next right thing.